Modeling Good Online Behavior for Our Kids

Last Summer, my daughter and I were leaving a mall in Bellevue late in the evening. We had a bag of books, a bag of groceries, and a bag of take-out Thai food, and car keys in hand. On the sidewalk surrounding the mall, we passed a person who asked for money, and I said, "No, best of luck to you", waited for traffic to pass, and then crossed to where our car was parked -close by & clearly visible.

My daughter said, "It's good you parked here, because this place is super spooky." We had a brief discussion about why I parked where I did, the bagger at the grocery asking if we'd like an escort to our car, etc. I modeled three safety behaviors and (what I consider) courtesy, without lecturing or freaking out my kid with statistics on women getting mugged near malls.

How do you do that with online behavior?

Incorporating modeling and transparency around a family's online behavior is, in my opinion, very important. We really want to know what they're doing online, and with whom, and yet - do they have any idea what we're doing? Do they see what 'friend requests' we 'ignored,' the fit of anger we let pass prior to answering an upsetting email, or websites we avoid because they seemed sketchy?

Right now I'm sitting at my computer, a fantastic HP Pavilion that I love very much even though it's old. My computer is on the dining table, across from my kids' computers. This is the only place my computer lives when I'm at home, and while I'm working, typing, and reading, I talk:

• Check-out this cool website, guys, let's see who made it.


• Holy Cow, this person is so rude on Facebook! I'm not going to reply to her comment, because I don't want to encourage her. I hope she's ok, because she's not usually rude.


• Hey, please save your stuff and shut down, I need to run updates; I think we have some kind of network issue. Here, you can help me run updates.


• Whoa, I have no idea who this text message is from, and it has an attachment; I'm going to delete it without opening it up. Did you know that your phone can get infected the same way the computer can? Crazy.


• Ugh! This page is full of advertisements - I thought it was going to be a news article, but clearly that's not their priority. Hey - look what happens when I hover over a link: I can see the preview of the URL it's going to, and it is NOT what it said it would be: this link for "Afghan war" goes to a page with a URL that ends in 'teeth whitening.' That can't be good.


• Hey, this website wants to know how much money I make! Why would they need that just so I can check if they have a ___ in stock? I'm looking for the link for their privacy policy, I want to know what they do with my information...

As a parent modeling computer behavior, I am not ideal. I'm online too much, I work too much, and I spend more time on my social network than I do with my friends or extended family. To make up for this deficiency, I admit to it and talk about how work, non-profit work, and my own interests contribute to my over-use of computers. I make sure the kids keep their time online to a reasonable amount, and I make sure they prioritize friends, family, beach trips, and soccer over the fascinations of Fantage, pixeling, and CSS.

Shop Safely this Season

I love shopping online. Go to my favorite stores, search out what I need, and have it mailed to my home. Even better when you're shopping for someone else - they'll gift wrap and mail it for you! No post office trip needed!
What's not so great are the inevitable scams and phishing attempts that happen online. These are something you can count on, like rain in Seattle, and they're something you can handle easily by remembering a few easy pointers.

Key points for online shopping:

• Read the URL - if it doesn't start with "https://", you shouldn't enter any financial or personal information.


• Your financial organizations will never ask you to 'click a link' and log in to deal with any issue. If you receive such an email, open a new browser window, go to your financial institutions website, and check for issues. Contact your bank if you have any concerns at all.


• Read the privacy policy for the websites you use. By using the website, you may be signing up for more than you expect: marketing emails, usage tracking, and storage of your financial information for later use.


• Your Attorney General is your resource for scams and fraud. Visit your Attorney General's website or call them, if you have any questions or concerns.


• Kick off your online shopping season by making sure your computers are protected. Follow the guidelines recommended by your operating system manufacturor (for most of you, that's Windows), and by your anti-virus/computer security.

Reminders for offline shopping

• Look into fraud protection for your credit/bank cards.


• Keep your shopping bags in the trunk where criminals won't see and be tempted.


• Review your purchase history online and verify that charges are appropriate. Follow-up immediately with your financial institution if anything looks amiss.


• Park close to the mall, in well-lit area, and don't be shy about asking for an escort to your car after dark.


• Roads may be bad - take appropriate precautions, and make sure you dress for the weather: Layers! You can leave them in the car, but you'll want them if you get stuck some where.

Cyberbullying-excerpt from December Update

Cyberbullying - The #1 Online threat to your Kids
What is cyberbullying? It's the same as regular bullying, except it happens via text message, social networks, and email. And it follows your child away from the playground, into the house, into their bedroom - and can follow them all the way to adulthood.

Likely because so many children feel a disconnect between what happens on and off-line, cyberbullying can be more vicious and it can spread much faster. In the news, we've seen some very extreme examples of what cyberbullying can lead to. At CommunityWatch we've talked to a lot of worried parents who want to know what to do about it.

Prevent and deal with cyberbullying:

• Most important! - Don't let your kids use digital communication in their bedrooms. Cell phones, lap tops, netbooks - anything that can text, instant message, or email needs to stay in a public part of the house like the kitchen or dining room, where your kid has some oversight. Do not let your kids keep their cell phone in their bedroom at night.


• Talk to them about their computer/phone use, and ask questions about who they're communicating with, what social networks they use, and -even if they're teenagers- know their user-names and passwords.


• Talk about reputation - kids who bully will have a damaged reputation when word gets out, and kids who post personal information online run the risk of having that information come back and embarass them. If they wouldn't say it in front of the entire school, then they shouldn't say it online, even in a 'private' email or text message.


• Sexting - ugh. You have a 9 year old? You may still need to deal with this. Kids of all ages are getting pressured into taking inappropriate pictures of themselves and sending them to 'friends.' Talk to your kids about reputation, stress appropriate boundaries, and ask your kids if a friend would really ask them to do something so damaging. Remember, too, that teenagers are going to jail and getting registered as sex-offenders for having these images on their phone/computer.


• If you suspect any cyberbullying is going on, follow-up immediately, and don't let it go until you have resolution. Be tenacious, calm, and let your kid know you are on their side, period (even if they are the ones bullying - you'll help them find the right path).

For more information on cyberbullying, you can visit NetSmartz and GetGameSmart.

12 Computer-use Rules for Kids

1. Use parental controls. It's difficult enough with software, and nearly impossible without. MS makes a free, easy to use product: http://download.live.com/familysafety
2. Computers should be kept/used in a central location like the dining room or kitchen table, where there is family activity.
3. Kids should not keep cell phones in their rooms overnight. 24 hour access to text/email/Internet is too much.
4. Monitor their traffic - how many texts and to whom? What websites visited? Let them know you track it.
5. Kids should not expect to keep online activity private from parents. All digital communication is fair-game.
6. Discuss reputation - photographs taken and statements made NEVER go away. Poor judgement as a child online can follow them through life.
7. Talk to your kids about websites they like to visit, and which of their friends also use those websites.
8. If your kids use social networking sites, set the privacy settings so only friends can view their updates/information, and make sure you're always on their 'friend' list.
9. Know their passwords - all of them.
10. Let your kids know what qualifies as personal information*, and that personal information NEVER goes online, in texts, or in emails.
11. Be calm no matter what your kids tell you they saw or read online. You freaking out means they are much less likely to come to you with these issues in the future. Don't threaten their access to the internet/communication, or they may not tell you when they need help.
12. Make sure your kids understand why they should never arrange to meet people from the internet without including you in their arrangements, and without taking along a friend, meeting in a well-lit, public place, etc.

*Personal information is anything that can be used to identify or locate a person - financial information, address, ID numbers, etc.

Private property - respect for privacy

http://www.wtop.com/?nid=25&sid=1790464 - Naked guy in his own home, viewed by parent and child who were walking on his property - he faces charges.

In order for sex crime legislation to have any credibility, it needs to be interpreted with some credibility.

Clearly, those laws were not written with the purpose of stopping people from being naked in private - and when you're inside a home on your own property, you're in private.

Further, we need to differentiate between nudity (which is not a bad thing) and obscenity or predatory exposure, because they're very different and they need to be treated very differently.

Justice and the Bar

One of the projects CommunityWatch has had for a few years is working with the Washington State Bar Association to correct their process for dealing with criminal charges against members of the Bar. They're a large organization with complicated bylaws, and change takes time.

It's worth it, though, to ensure that we can have some measure of faith in the value and integrity of the Bar, and in the justice that is delivered to us through members of the Bar.

Members of the Bar are human, and cannot be expected to be other than human, with human weaknesses. There is one thing that separates members of the Bar from the rest of us: our justice is delivered through them. Will we go to prison or will the charges be dropped? Are the charges even legitimate? How can you tell? What are your rights - do you know? What does justice look like? Will you recognize it when it's presented to you as an option requiring an immediate decision?

Justice is the voice of the Constitution articulated from a distance of hundreds of years, and colored by thousands of trials and recorded decisions. Just is not the same as fair, it's not always pleasant, and the path to justice is not necessarily straight and simple.

Citizens of the US and of WA cannot hope to naviage the complexities of the justice system without assistance, and for that assistance we must rely on and trust in the intellect, courage, and integrity of members of the Bar, and of the Bar itself.

Think your child is being abused?

It's not enough to know that your child is being abused - you need to take steps to make sure the 'evidence' is credible and gets to the right group of people.

1. Keep a notebook of dates, times, and instances that warranted concern. Start at the first occurance of something that seemed wrong or inappropriate, and note down everything from that point forward. If there seems to be a correlation between phone calls, unaccompanied visits, or play dates, make a note of those too.
2. Be as factual and non-accusatory as possible. Your job is to advocate for your child, and it is important to convey facts, not emotion and angst.
3. If you believe that a crime has been committed against your child, it is your right and your obligation to seek assistance from the police. Do them a favor and provide as much information as possible, which is why your notebook and your factual communication are so important. If you have reports from your child's counselor or pediatrician, take that along as well.
4. Make sure your child knows -
• That you love them no matter what, always & forever
• That they won't get in trouble for something an adult or older kid does
• That they have the right to feel safe, to have their private areas left alone, and to ask for help
5. Share stories with your child about events that happened to you that made you feel ashamed, scared, vulnerable, and alone, and talk about how you received help.
6. If there is a related divorce taking place, acquire the services of a Guardian ad litem, or similar, to be the voice of your child in court.

You can learn more at CommunityWatch.us. Good luck to you and your child/ren.

Free Range Kidlets

When we started the non-profit in 2006, we were told that children were at extreme risk from strangers, and that thousands and thousands of kids go missing every single day in the US. We had law enforcement, safety experts, and children's books expound on these two ideas, and we were pretty sure it was our job to let parents know that, too.

We were wrong, and we figured it out pretty quick, thankfully.

We want our kids to be safe, to grow up safe, and to learn how to keep themself safe so they're prepared for any situation. The skills they need to do that are like a toolbox, and one of the most important tools in that box is CONFIDENCE.

How do you give your kid confidence? It's pretty simple. You 1) teach your kid what they need to know, 2) let them loose in the appropriate environments, and you 3) absolutely support them.
Teaching your kid what they need to know means that you need to know it. Not be oblivious, not be overly scared yourself. It might be different in one neighborhood than in another, different for one kid than another. Some things don't change: Kids need to travel in pairs of 2 or more. Kids need to know what appropriate behavior is and is not. Kids need to know how to ask for help - from a stranger or from a family member.

The appropirate environment is not so easy to determine, but there are some ways to do it. One of our favorites is Gavin de Becker's Test of Twelve. When your kid is very tiny, start teaching toward this test, and maybe your kid will be ready to go around the neighborhood when they're 11. Or 8. It depends on you and your kid and your neighborhood.

This is difficult for another reason - a lot of parents were assaulted as kids. Might be difficult to make a non-emotional decision about it if you know that when you were 9 you were assaulted at the park, and never told your parents because you didn't want to lose your freedom. I hear stories like that every week or so. The only answer I have for that is - Go with your kid around the neighborhood - be free range with your kid. Develop a sense of what's normal for the park at 2:30 pm, or for 8:30 am. Know your neighbors, and know your kid has confidence in his or her neighborhood and ability to travel around the neighborhood.

And that last one - support them. If something happens -anything- then you need to be calm, supportive, and listen to your kid.

Your kid is most at-risk from cars, poorly adjusted car-seats, and no bike-helmet, not from perverted strangers. Make sure the topic is on the table, make sure your kids know you'll be calm and trust them as needed, and make sure they have the appropriate safety gear and security training. Let them loose.

Here's a link to a blog that's all free range, all the time - some perspective: Free-Range Kids.

Barring RSOs from attending Church

Banning RSOs from attending Church in North Carolina

What is the expected, constructive result of legislation banning RSOs from attending church? Even from banning RSOs from being within 300 feet of any location that has the primary purpose of dealing with minors - What is the expected goal?

The fact is that the US is tagging a lot of people as RSOs, and they do have to live somewhere. You cannot reasonably expect them to live outside a 300-1000 foot range of every church, preschool, day care, public school, bus stop, or private school in any given city, town, or unincorporated area. What that would bring you would be a lot of unstable, homeless, RSOs living under bridges or in their car, parked in the lot near the local playground.

Many areas have Community Protection Zones that intelligently prohibit level 3 offenders (the most predatory, with a very high risk of re-offense) from living within a certain distance of, for instance, public schools.

This idea of "Not in my back yard" is not a good idea. You're not doing your community a favor by trying to force RSOs to live 'elsewhere.' There is no 'elsewhere' - someone is going to have to deal with the issue, and by passing these laws, people are essentially foisting the issue onto someone else, likely someone who doesn't have the means to monitor the safety of their kids/community as effectively.

Please remember- the vast majority of sexual assaults are not committed by RSOs - they're committed by uncaught, unidentified offenders who have established positions in your community. Teach your kids to be safe and they'll be safe just about anywhere, whether RSOs are allowed in the same church or not.

TN - accusation of selling a kid was bogus - so what happened?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp=33196533&#33196533

Infant was snatched from the home (extraordinarily rare, btw). Un-named informant accuses parents of trying to sell the infant, and essentially staging an abduction. On the basis of that accusation, all of the children are removed from their home for a week. A week.

Were these children kept together? Did they have access to a qualified counselor? Did they get to visit with their parents? Was there a directive that determining the truth of that accusation be prioritized so those children could be returned to their family? Should they even have been taken? If you don't have enough to arrest the parent, do you have enough to remove the child?

I don't know the answers to these questions. I do know that someone in TN is obligated to have the answers to these questions, and should provide those answers without being asked.

When the government imposes itself into the relationship between a parent and child, it obligates itself to the fulleset possible extent. It obligates itself to the welfare of the child, to the demands of justice, and to absolute transparency.

What are these people thinking? Really?

Roman Polanski did something terrible to a child in the 70s and then he ran away from his agreed-upon consequence. I'm not French, I'm not Swiss, so I can't speak to what they were thinking to not extradite him until now.

I don't know what people are thinking when they shake Roman Polanski's hand or say that his achievements and contributions to 'art' should weigh against his crime. When they applauded his Oscar win at the Academy Awards. Of course, he couldn't accept it in person because he can't come to the US without going to prison for sexually assaulting a child.

He makes good movies. Whoopi Goldberg is not pleased that he may go to jail, apparently. I'm not an actor, and I'm sure as hell not Whoopi Goldberg, so I have no idea what she's thinking.

I don't know what sexual assault survivors are thinking when they see that happen, either. They likely also don't understand what is essentially inexplicable - applaud a guy who plied a 13 year old with drugs and alcohol and then had sex with her. This guy (Polanski) did it, and all those important/famous people know it, and are applauding him anyway. How does that work?

I don't care how old he is, I don't care how good his movies are. What do I know? He sexually assaulted a kid - I wouldn't shake his hand, I won't watch his movies, I don't think his contributions to art or anything could outweigh his crime. Justice doesn't work that way. I want him in jail.

/bethan rant

Sex Offender Registry laws

I believe we need a national sex offender management system. Some of the people walking free in the US are sexually violent and are not interested in or capable of reform, and the odds that they will re-commit are extremely high.

I believe the registry needs to look very different than what we have now. I'm not going to go into the flaws of the current registries, because every state has a different program, and those programs are of different sizes and very varied.

They have some commonalities: they're mandated by federal law, they have tremendous popular support, and they don't appear effective.

Good to know -

• Most sex crimes don't result in a conviction, so no sex offender to register
• Most sex crimes are not committed by a registered sex offender (RSO)
• A distressing number of the people on the RSO lists committed a statutory crime. Some of them were convicted of things like public urination.
• Most RSOs are not monitored at all. They just have to report on their movements and check in on some schedule, and they are restricted from living in certain areas.
• The RSO lists treat all the same - an 18 year old with a 16 year old girl friend is very likely to get the same requirement and duration on the list as a pedophile.

What needs to happen? We need to standardize and correct.

• Registration duration and level needs to be based on such factors as severity of crime, the predatory aspect of the crime, the criminal history, and the treatment history.
• Statutory crimes where the law is grey need to be disqualified from inclusion on the lists (ex: 19 year old with a 17 year old, both with normal intelligence, etc.,)
• Crimes of escalation should receive different registration requirements and durations, as there may be potential to rehabilitate before the person becomes a full-fledged pedophile/outcast
• Level 3 offenders -repeating, highly predatory, resistant to therapy- should get a gps cuff
• Those currently on the RSO list in every state need to be provided with a method of getting off the list based on panel review, with a secondary review of their decisions
• The registry needs to be updated at the local level and maintained at the national level, and access needs to be restricted on a need to know basis.

Things to remember:

• Sex offenders have cars and bus passes, and -if they're intending to commit another predatory crime- they are fully willing to drive out of their neighborhood to do so. Placing physical restrictions on where they can live does not seem to work, and it does seem to provide a false sense of security to many.
• Sex offenders have civil rights, and when you start to see that they don't, that they've been entirely marginalized in their community and by society, then something is going wrong. Every restrictive law is an articulation between the rights of one entity and the rights of another, in light of the given scenario.
• Not all sex offenders are the same, and some can be rehabilitated.

I have no sympathy for predators, no matter the source of their illness. Not all RSOs are predators.

The registry was clearly intended to track those who are and may continue to be a danger to society, and too many RSOs are not a danger to society and never were. In order to function effectively and justly, we need a fix.

Another post on kids & social networks

Girl commits suicide after extended periods of bullying online, and apparently at her school as well.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2009/sep/20/facebook-bullying-holly-grogan-suicide

---

I am very sorry for the family and friends of this girl. I can only imagine the tremendous devastation they must feel.

This is the second suicide, that I'm aware of, that stems in some part from on-line bullying.

Children can be vicious and tenacious, and online they don't have the sense of potential consequences that they do IRL. Mostly because they don't see a lot of parental authority online.

---

Young kids and tweens need to be monitored online. Most parents I talk to don't have parental controls installed, and if they do- they're switched off.

If you don't have parental controls installed, or you don't think you're going to use what you have now, try this one - I've been using it for a few years, and it works really well.

Download it here: http://download.live.com/familysafety

Directions for using the software, such as managing the contacts, the web filtering, and the reports http://windowshelp.microsoft.com/Windows/en-US/Help/en-US/Help/5ddc1ec9-5d4f-4288-a62d-4128c3dd0c561033.mspx#EEC

Good kid resources for bullying - list of links here that talk about different kinds of online safety, from bullies and social pressure to predators: http://www.communitywatch.us/ncmec.htm

---

Before you let your kids go online again, please talk to them about appropriate behavior online, let them know that you have their back (however you phrase it).

They need to understand that you having their back may mean a) you showing up at their school to get a sense of what the dynamic is b) you reading their email and trolling their favorite websites, c) you binging/googling their usernames so you can see what may not be showing up in the report, d) you not backing down from an emotional confrontation about such painful topics as popularity, bullying, etc.

We have those discussions and confrontations in this house, because it's part of parenting a child who was raised with online social networking. Do you call your kid on their behavior at a holiday function? A party? This is the same - you have to be a part of their online social network because you're a parent/guardian, and your kid is a ... kid, whether they're 7 or 17.

Courtesy of Linda at ilookbothways
http://www-03.ibm.com/press/us/en/pressrelease/28257.wss

excerpt:

According to the report, there has been a 508 percent increase in the number of new malicious Web links discovered in the first half of 2009. This problem is no longer limited to malicious domains or untrusted Web sites. The X-Force report notes an increase in the presence of malicious content on trusted sites, including popular search engines, blogs, bulletin boards, personal Web sites, online magazines and mainstream news sites. The ability to gain access and manipulate data remains the primary consequence of vulnerability exploitations.

Official results

These are the poll results -
We had low voter turnout for general members. As a result of this, we are going to find a general member to represent the other general members, and that person will hold a board position. This will be discussed more at a later date, and will be decided on before the next platform vote.

---

Legislation:
None of the legislative proposals were voted off.
Legislative priorities in order of effort they will receive:

1. Offenders Coaching Kids
2. Increased Penalty Zones
3. Felony exposure
4. Ownership of Children's images

Offenders Coaching Kids and Increased Penalty Zones will get the majority of our time; the other two efforts are likely to be multi-year projects.

Requests were also made for legislative support around foster care issues (always a priority for Bethan).

---

Education/Outreach:
Education/Outreach effort in order of prioritization:

• Votes were split evenly, 4-4, between Online Education and In-Class materials
• A small number of general members and Board members bypassed this vote in favor of requesting that we spend more time on legislation.

---

Communication
Communication preferences as prioritized:

• Majority went to monthy emails
• RSS off blog and weekly-email summary tied for second, 2-2
• Members requested message board, so we built one, linked to website.
• Majority of Board was interested in quarterly general meetings
• Local membership was interested in regular meetings; many members are distant

Poll results for 2009/2010 work

Results are in for the 2009/2010 Work member-vote, for priorities in the coming year:

• Legislative proposals
• Education/Outreach
• Communication with members

---

Legislation
By far the most support went to the "Offenders Coaching Kids" proposal. this proposal would have the result of registered offenders no longer being allowed to act as coaches to minors or vulnerable classes of people.

---

Non-Legislation Work - Education and Outreach
Many left a comment instead of voting, along the lines of "Spend more time on legislation" or "Provide more education at large events." We'll take those suggestions into consideration.

---

Communication
We have many members and supporters, and we need good ways to get the message out to you! We asked, and some of you answered:

You can discuss these results at the message board over at CommunityWatch - the link is on the home page. Members received an email a few days ago with the phrase needed for access and registration.

Prepare for Winter

The windows are open, the birds are flying around, I'm wearing shorts.

This is all very good, but the trees are starting to change color, and I'm remembering last November when the weather turned nasty and some woman attempted to buy every battery available at the local grocery. Thankfully, I was there for bread, and there were a few loaves left. Score.

At any given time, you should have food and hygiene supplies for three days and water and medicine/first aid for a week. If you live in a region or climate that has severe storm weather, you should try to have common-use supplies (your regular foods) for a week, and long lasting rations (rice, canned food, powdered milk, etc.) for up to 2 weeks.

This is pretty easy to do - the main blocks for most people are cost, space, and motivation.

• Cost - do a little at a time over a few weeks. Buying dried pasta? Buy a bag or two more than usual. Buy an extra half-gallon of milk and put it in the freezer. Buy your regular bread, and then buy a box of low-cost whole wheat crackers to substitute for bread as needed.
• Space - you need to find it. Food lasts longer in dry, mid-temperature spaces. You can store it in stacking plastic bins, a lockable closet in the garage, or in the converted bedroom/office closet.
• Motivation - One good storm, and the interstates are closed, the groceries are empty, and the lights are off. Just think about leaving your kids in the dark living room under a pile of blankets while you go and ask your cranky neighbor if he has a loaf of bread you can buy.

Resources

Ready.gov - this one has stuff for kids, too!
FEMA
US Dept of Health and Human Services
US Center for Disease Control
American Red Cross - Prepare your Home and Family

---

In a natural disaster, like an earthquake, flood, or volanic eruption, emergency services may be unavailable, and the community may not behave as nicely as usual. If your home is safe, stay home and lock your doors. Talk to your kids about what's going on, and let them know that you have a plan and supplies.

• Check with your kids' school and find out what their policy is on releasing kids to parents/guardians during emergencies - some states have laws allowing schools to retain children if they feel it is safer to do so.
• Visit your city/town's website and see what information they have about community preparation for disasters. If you city/town doesn't provide that information on the website, call city hall, or visit the county or state website.
  

Poll / Vote on work for 2009/2010

Vote Now

Page 1 - introduces the ballot
Page 2 - what should be on the platform?
Page 3 - prioritize the platform
Page 4 - how should CommunityWatch communicate?
Page 5 - thank you!

Vote here <- that's the link!

This is the general poll for feedback. If you want to vote in the legal, official poll, please log into the big tent 'vote now' forum.

Security vs. Privacy

Never thought you'd see me pit those two things against each other? That's because, perfect world, those two things complement each other. Real world, there's some conflict.

As individuals, we use security systems, whether anti-virus or shredder, to protect our privacy.

As a government, there's some conflict - Congress creates legislation to protect our privacy and they create legislation providing themselves with loopholes for why those laws doesn't apply to the government (hello, Patriot Act).

Here's a great article on the issue of security vs. privacy. I'm not a regular reader of the Huffington Post, but I am a regular reader of schneier.com/blog. Schneier posted this article this morning, along with this excerpt.

Marc Rotenberg on Security vs. Privacy:

In the modern era, the right of privacy represents a vast array of rights that include clear legal standards, government accountability, judicial oversight, the design of techniques that are minimally intrusive and the respect for the dignity and autonomy of individuals.

The choice that we are being asked to make is not simply whether to reduce our expectation of privacy, but whether to reduce the rule of law, whether to diminish the role of the judiciary, whether to cast a shroud of secrecy over the decisions made by government.

In other words, we are being asked to become something other than the strong America that could promote innovation and safeguard privacy that could protect the country and its Constitutional traditions. We are being asked to become a weak nation that accepts surveillance without accountability that cannot defend both security and freedom.

That is a position we must reject. If we agree to reduce our expectation of privacy, we will erode our Constitutional democracy.

Link to Huffington Post article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marc-rotenberg/privacy-vs-security-pr_b_71806.html?view=print

Assorted

Facebook goodness: "Walking the Cyberbeat"

...one of some 150 people the young company employs to keep the site clean—out of a total head count of 850. Facebook describes these staffers as an internal police force, charged with regulating users' decorum, hunting spammers and working with actual law-enforcement agencies to help solve crimes. Part hall monitors, part vice cops, these employees are key weapons in Facebook's efforts to maintain its image as a place that's safe for corporate advertisers—more so than predecessor social networks like Friendster and MySpace.

Here's an article on recommended settings for your, or your kids', facebook account:http://spylogic.net/downloads/Facebook_Privacy_and_Security_Guide.pdf
--
I have no idea how many people subscribe to the feed on this blog.

Much of this is also posted over at bigtent.
--
Justice Scalia made an errant comment about privacy online, and has gotten some flack about it.

Here is a clearly intelligent guy who didn't realize how much personal information is available online. Prior to providing his opinion, he should have checked with one of his clerks.

Article from the ABA Journal: http://www.abajournal.com/weekly/fordham_law_class_collects_scalia_info_justice_is_steamed

Good practice - periodically search your user names in a few search engines, not just google. Make sure you can see what is cached, too, as it often will provide some surprising gems.

Look yourself up in the online white pages, pay $20 to see what a base-level back ground check shows about you, and find out how much information about your location is available through sites like zillow.

If you find any information about yourself that could be used to determine your residence, access your credit/financial, etc., the website should prominently display a method of removing that information.

For instance, on the bottom of the msn.whitepages.com, there's a link that says, "Is this you? Remove your listing"

Along the very bottom of the page, or somewhere else easy to find, there should be a link to a privacy page, which has their privacy policy. Information removal instructions may also be located there.

If you do not easily find the instructions for removing this information, contact your Attorney General's office, and let them know about your concerns. http://www.naag.org/.

Big Tent

Really glad to see people posting a wee bit at our bigtent community.

If you'd like more information about our bigtent CommunityWatch space, you can visit the public page: https://www.bigtent.com/groups/comwatch

Safe & Secure class at PTA Convention

For parents in WA, many of you know that this is the weekend of the Spring PTA conference. I was pleased to see several classes available on security issues - one of them was ours!

A detective from the Bellevue PD, and the lead educator from the King County SARC, provided some great information on real crime, how to avoid it, and how to talk to kids about the life skills and common sense needed to avoid crime.

Our goal with these classes is to offer a tool box to parents and care-givers, so that they walk away with more ability to safeguard their kids, and the empowerment to know that they can.

Thanks to the Bellevue PD and KSARC for providing these excellent speakers and dedicated professionals.

This class was also to raise awareness of the Take 25 campaign, which works to reduce the number of children victimized by abuse. "Take 25, Make time to talk about child safety," is a simple, easy, and essential message for care-givers to receive. 25 minutes is all it takes to provide a kid with information about a situation, and it may make a tremendous difference in that kid's life.

Take 25 materials were available for the class and conference attendees, in Spanish and English, as well as NetSmartz posters and brochures. We ran out, which is GREAT!

bad news

http://www.crimeweb.net/details.asp?id=14590

Thoughts and Prayers for Sandra, her family, and their community.

Washington: Closing the OSPI Safety Center?!

It has come to our attention that OSPI’s School Safety Center’s budget has been cut in both the House and Senate budget proposals.

CommunityWatch is appalled, and would like to know how the Legislature proposes to coordinate the safety and security of thousands of children across the state without this central office.

In Washington, as elsewhere in this country, children are required to attend school. To that end, each morning in Washington, thousands and thousands of kids head out the door and make their way to schools. On their way to and from school, many of our children avoid gang members, child predators, and poorly driven cars.

When they’re at school, they’re required to deal with fire drills and lock-down drills. There’s a law in place addressing whether or not the school will release children to parents/guardians in the event of a disaster. Wow – can you imagine the school not giving you your kid after an earthquake? I can’t.

This is policy ownership at a huge level. They’ve entrusted the schools of Washington with the power of determining whether you should have the care of your child after a natural disaster, but they’re now planning to revoke the budget of the Safety Center that would coordinate the training for disaster recovery. Where does that leave your child should a natural disaster occur?

This is unacceptable, and it’s a waste of money. What the state needs is

-> A central Safety Center education website with current information on crime prevention for predatory crime, gang crime, drugs, and solicitation

-> A state-level safety/security policy center that maintains high standards across the state, and maintains a website clearly stating what those policies are

-> A small group of expert and dedicated people who are able to provide training and support for edge case situations, and to detect trends in safety and security risks

We have this; it’s called the Safety Center. Let’s not get rid of it.

The option is to decentralize the security and safety policies and actions of school districts state-wide, creating inconsistent and (most likely) inequitable experiences for children and communities, duplicating cost, and reducing over-all efficacy.

We are entering a period where economic depression and uncertainty will cause more risks to the children of our State’s schools, and when our schools will need more centralized support for safety and security issues. The Government of Washington requires that our children attend school, and for this reason alone they have the obligation of ensuring the security and safety of our children while they are in school.

Please join with CommunityWatch in asking the members of the House and Senate to leave the Safety Center budget in place.

WA SB 5832 - Extending the SOL on CSA

WA SB 5832, extending the statute of limitation on CSA has passed through the House (97-0!), and is on the way to the Governor's desk!

Please email the Governor and let her know why you support this bill.

I'd like to say "Thank You" to Don Brockett for his inspirational dedication to this effort.

Many people step up to fight for a legislative cause, and many people slow or stop the fight after the first year; most stop after the second year, and very few continue on into the third and subsequent years.

Don has held true to his commitment and beliefs for much longer than that. I truly believe that we would not have this bill on the way to the Governor's office right now if it weren't for Don and his absolute determination.

And now I'm knocking on wood - don't want to jinx it! Email the Governor!

SB 5832 in Rules!

ACTION In Washington - Contact your legislator! Is your legislator on the House Rules Committee? Call!

Senate Bill 5832 - Allowing the prosecution of sex offenses against minor victims until the victim's twenty-eighth birthday if the offense is listed in RCW 9A.04.080(1) (b)(iii)(A) or (c).

After three years, we know that good bills often die in well-intended committees! Call your legislators and ask them to support this bill! Let them know we'll be following-up to see who said nice things but did nothing, and who actively worked to bring justice to the victims of child sexual assault.

If you prefer to email, or if you want to organize your community and do some dedicated and polite emailing, you can use this link: All member list. If you go that route, please be polite and don't spam.

Testimony on Behalf of WA SB 5832

Last year, our membership told us that the Statutes of Limitation for Child Sexual Assault was a priority for them. We were told that they (SOL on CSA) were too complicated, they weren’t long enough, they weren’t fair, and they weren’t realistic.

We spent a considerable number of hours over March and April of 2008 learning enough to form a reasonable opinion. We spoke with social workers who work with child victims, memory researchers, psychologist child trauma specialists, law school teachers, police officers, legislators, adult survivors of CSA, and defense lawyers. We went out and learned, and came back and worked through it all, and formed an opinion.

What do we know?

We know that, according to the DOJ, in 2007 67% of all reported sex crimes were committed upon minors. 14% of all reported sex crimes were committed upon children under 6. The Crimes against Children Research Center has stated that the crime is likely very under-reported.

We know that most victims of CSA were abused by their father or a close male authority figure.

We know that victims of CSA are raised in dysfunctional environments, often with more issues than just the CSA.

We know that predators work to create an environment where kids tolerate and/or accept the abuse, because of threats or training.

We know that children who are abused by one person are much more likely to be abused by another person. It’s called polyvictimization, and it’s something dealt with by foster kids, and by children who have been trained to think that sexual exploitation is normal.

We know that these children often feel tremendous shame for what was done to them, and what they want more than anything else is to feel safe and secured from the constant risk that is their life.

We know that these children are likely to have issues with authority, to be self-destructive, to have post traumatic stress disorder, to tolerate abuse because abuse and love aren’t dissimilar to them.

We know that therapy, depending on the age of onset, duration, and extremity of abuse, may take two years or 20 years to achieve a ‘healthy’ emotional balance.

And we expect them to overcome all of this in the three years between 18 and 21?

The Statutes of Limitations, as they stand, are not just. They do not serve justice.

The current SOL on CSA are not reasonable. SB 5832 shows reason. SB 5832 provides more time to achieve economic independence, social independence, and therapy, so that the child may mature and safely report.

For our community, for the children of our community, we ask you to move SB 5832 forward. We ask you to actively support SB 5832 as it makes its way through the house and is signed into law.

Sexting - Bethan is on a tirade

From Wikipedia:
Sexting (a portmanteau of sex and texting) is the act of sending sexually explicit photos electronically, primarily between cell phones. It is practiced primarily by young adults, though it is known to occur amongst children as young as middle-school age.

---

MSNBC Article on Sexting: Teen ‘sexting’: Youthful prank or sex crime?

---

When you're thinking about sex crime legislation, especially with regard to how it may apply to minors - take a minute to contemplate how you would feel if it was applied to your child. We know our kids, and most of us are not compulsive apologists for our beloved sociopathic offspring - we can be honest about theoretical situations, right?

So, theoretically, your kid, Jane, gets caught at school with a naked picture of 17 year old John on her phone. What's a reasonable consequence for Jane? Prison? 25 years of mandatory offender reporting, potentially having to move out of your house because your other children are minors?

Applying child pornography laws to consensual sexting is ludicrous. Because - remember, please- we have laws that say teenagers within a certain age range of each other CAN consent to acts committed with each other, so long as they are both unimpaired. If those laws can apply to the actual act of sex, then they should apply to a teenage girl sending her boyfriend a naked pic via text message.

We need legislation to reflect the spectrum of stupidity represented by sexting, rather than apply consequences that were written for something entirely different.

Because child pornography is different than sexting. In my opinion, charging someone with possession/distribution of child porn for consensual sexting is a gross misrepresentation of justice, and diminishes the horrific criminality of those who have actually sexually exploited children for profit.

When is sexting something other than sexting?

• Guy takes a pic of his girlfriend when she's sleeping, and sells copies of the image to his friends, or in any way distributes it to a wide group of people, texting or otherwise.
• Minor girl decides that selling naked pics of herself is a better way to make money than the local fast food place, and uses her phone to distribute the images.
• Younger or impaired minor is photographed by significantly older person, or non-impaired peer. Younger/impaired person is not able to provide consent, so this is exploitation.

I'm sure there are more. I'm endlessly surprised at people's creativity with breaking the law. The point is that the preceding three scenarios are something other than sexting - they're exploitive and/or illegal acts all on their own.

---

Technology is wonderful thing, and there's no doubt that it's changing society. There are some things that have not changed, however, and I'd like to list them here:

• They're teenagers - they will, in some way at some time, be indiscreet, juvenile, and maybe even brutally mean. It will almost certainly pass.
• The cell phone is one more tool, in an age-old list of tools, with which teenagers will be stupid.
• I can't find privacy mentioned in the Bill of Rights. This may be an indicator that your kids don't have a right to privacy, especially where their ability to wreak massive amounts of havoc are concerned. Let them know you will look through their phone and internet records. And then - look through their phone and internet records. Really.

Common sense. That's what we're going for. Technology is a wonderful thing, and it's developing at a remarkable rate. Parents really need to keep up.

Check out Linda Criddle's website, Look Both Ways.