Another post on kids & social networks

Girl commits suicide after extended periods of bullying online, and apparently at her school as well.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2009/sep/20/facebook-bullying-holly-grogan-suicide

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I am very sorry for the family and friends of this girl. I can only imagine the tremendous devastation they must feel.

This is the second suicide, that I'm aware of, that stems in some part from on-line bullying.

Children can be vicious and tenacious, and online they don't have the sense of potential consequences that they do IRL. Mostly because they don't see a lot of parental authority online.

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Young kids and tweens need to be monitored online. Most parents I talk to don't have parental controls installed, and if they do- they're switched off.

If you don't have parental controls installed, or you don't think you're going to use what you have now, try this one - I've been using it for a few years, and it works really well.

Download it here: http://download.live.com/familysafety

Directions for using the software, such as managing the contacts, the web filtering, and the reports http://windowshelp.microsoft.com/Windows/en-US/Help/en-US/Help/5ddc1ec9-5d4f-4288-a62d-4128c3dd0c561033.mspx#EEC

Good kid resources for bullying - list of links here that talk about different kinds of online safety, from bullies and social pressure to predators: http://www.communitywatch.us/ncmec.htm

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Before you let your kids go online again, please talk to them about appropriate behavior online, let them know that you have their back (however you phrase it).

They need to understand that you having their back may mean a) you showing up at their school to get a sense of what the dynamic is b) you reading their email and trolling their favorite websites, c) you binging/googling their usernames so you can see what may not be showing up in the report, d) you not backing down from an emotional confrontation about such painful topics as popularity, bullying, etc.

We have those discussions and confrontations in this house, because it's part of parenting a child who was raised with online social networking. Do you call your kid on their behavior at a holiday function? A party? This is the same - you have to be a part of their online social network because you're a parent/guardian, and your kid is a ... kid, whether they're 7 or 17.

Prepare for Winter

The windows are open, the birds are flying around, I'm wearing shorts.

This is all very good, but the trees are starting to change color, and I'm remembering last November when the weather turned nasty and some woman attempted to buy every battery available at the local grocery. Thankfully, I was there for bread, and there were a few loaves left. Score.

At any given time, you should have food and hygiene supplies for three days and water and medicine/first aid for a week. If you live in a region or climate that has severe storm weather, you should try to have common-use supplies (your regular foods) for a week, and long lasting rations (rice, canned food, powdered milk, etc.) for up to 2 weeks.

This is pretty easy to do - the main blocks for most people are cost, space, and motivation.

• Cost - do a little at a time over a few weeks. Buying dried pasta? Buy a bag or two more than usual. Buy an extra half-gallon of milk and put it in the freezer. Buy your regular bread, and then buy a box of low-cost whole wheat crackers to substitute for bread as needed.
• Space - you need to find it. Food lasts longer in dry, mid-temperature spaces. You can store it in stacking plastic bins, a lockable closet in the garage, or in the converted bedroom/office closet.
• Motivation - One good storm, and the interstates are closed, the groceries are empty, and the lights are off. Just think about leaving your kids in the dark living room under a pile of blankets while you go and ask your cranky neighbor if he has a loaf of bread you can buy.

Resources

Ready.gov - this one has stuff for kids, too!
FEMA
US Dept of Health and Human Services
US Center for Disease Control
American Red Cross - Prepare your Home and Family

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In a natural disaster, like an earthquake, flood, or volanic eruption, emergency services may be unavailable, and the community may not behave as nicely as usual. If your home is safe, stay home and lock your doors. Talk to your kids about what's going on, and let them know that you have a plan and supplies.

• Check with your kids' school and find out what their policy is on releasing kids to parents/guardians during emergencies - some states have laws allowing schools to retain children if they feel it is safer to do so.
• Visit your city/town's website and see what information they have about community preparation for disasters. If you city/town doesn't provide that information on the website, call city hall, or visit the county or state website.
  

Big Tent

Really glad to see people posting a wee bit at our bigtent community.

If you'd like more information about our bigtent CommunityWatch space, you can visit the public page: https://www.bigtent.com/groups/comwatch

Social Networking

Social Networking is an interesting thing.

With most social networks, the user is also the product. Social networking sites make money by selling advertising which targets your demographic, based on your member profile and your patterns of use.

In exchange, they provide a free or very cheap way to keep up with family and friends, to network, and to distract yourself with games and memes.

Another side effect of social networking is the increased vulnerability of the user.

When it comes down to it, you have no way of knowing who is really on the other side of that network connection. Is it Susan, or Susan's brother? Is it a handsome techie from Toledo or the cranky older guy that lives a few apartments down from yours?

Kids and teenagers make up a large percentage of social networking users. To protect kids under 13 from inappropriate data collection and marketing, the Feds came up with COPPA. As a result of COPPA, most social networking sites don't 'allow' children under 13 to join.

There is no way, of course, that those sites can effectively stop children from joining. So we have the added side-effect of many children online, and vulnerable to the manipulation of online predators. Without a profound policy shift amongst most social networking organizations, this will continue to be a problem, although it has improved as parents have increasingly prioritized internet safety.

Protecting your kids on the internet is simple.

• Don't send them online alone. Install parental controls [like OneCare] that allow you to restrict internet access when an adult is not in the house, and provide a record of each person they come in contact with online, and each site they visit. This will also allow you to provide access to some sites while restricting others.


• Get comfortable with the internet: POS means parent over shoulder; TTYL means talk to you later. Learn to determine when it's safe to enter ID or banking information, and teach your children. Teach them about phishing scams, ID theft, and fraud. The more they know, and you know, the more they will be empowered against risk.


• Keep the computers in a central location; don't allow your kids to surf the internet from their bedrooms, or while they're alone in the house. It's important to provide them with oversight and boundaries.


• Children should not communicate with anyone online that YOU have not met in real life. Their email contacts should include a parent's name and phone number. You should know all the passwords to all of their accounts. Track the parental control reports to ensure that you know all sites they regularly visit and where they could be meeting people.


• Let your kids know they must NEVER arrange to meet with anyone they know from the internet, or share information about their location with people they know from the internet.


• Everything that happens online has consequences in the real world. It's difficult to remember for many adults, and very challenging for most children. Boundaries and discussion are invaluable as your child, and you, explore the internet.

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Against my own inclination, I created a CAP group at My Space. My thinking is that we can maintain a beacon of internet safety over there, and my gut says, "Bad idea." I entered the information, posted some internet safety guidelines, and saved the data. The profile page presented itself, and in great, huge, bright blue letters across the middle of the screen? An incredibly inappropriate advertising banner. I won't repeat the slogan, but it was laughably ironic.

Some facts about injustice today - introducing the International Justice Mission

Earlier today I was instant messaging with my husband- we sit at our respective computers and send links back and forth to each other. At MSN, I came across a Dateline article on the Cambodian sex trade, which is one of the horrific issues that keeps me working on Saturday mornings while the kids play soccer.

The article describes the child sex-slave industry in Cambodia, and the efforts of some organizations to end that industry, and to provide care to the children who are rescued from the brothels - some of the children as young as five. One of those organizations is The International Justice Mission.

The International Justice Mission [IJM] is a phenomenal, courageous organization that works to shed light on gross injustice, and to bring pressure on countries to correct those injustices. Through hard work, risk, and working within the confines of other country's laws, IJM aggressively attacks the problems of child exploitation and sex-trade slavery, in addition to other kinds of slavery and injustice.

Here are some facts from their website, which are well documented via other organizations as well.

from the website of International Justice Mission
The Facts

• The total market value of illicit human trafficking is estimated to be in excess of $32 billion (U.N.)


• Each year, more than 2 million children are exploited in the global commercial sex trade (UNICEF)


• 27 million men, women and children are held as slaves. (Kevin Bales, Disposable People)


• 1 in 5 women is a victim of rape or attempted rape in her lifetime. (U. N. Development Fund for Women)


• More than 1 million children live in detention, the vast majority awaiting trial for minor offenses. (UNICEF)

Their website has a wealth of important information, including how you can help via volunteering and donation.

Some facts about slavery in the US (from Good magazine):

• Between 14,500 - 17,500 slaves are brought into the US each year. One approximately every 30 minutes.


• Half of the slaves brought into the US are used in the commercial sex industry


• Internationally, the average cost of a slave is $90

Gavin de Becker interviewed by Charlie Rose

Very interesting <13 minute interview.

http://www.charlierose.com/guests/gavin-becker