Two cents: creating an environment conducive to reporting.

When I started working on this project [CAP], I knew not to use stranger danger, and I knew why, but I made a lot of other mistakes. Sometimes I still think certain things, briefly, without saying them out loud, and sometimes I hear things from others.

Things like, "That person is just evil/a monster," or, "If anyone ever hurt my child like that, I/my husband would kill them!"

Here's the point of the post:

Whether or not evil exists is a fascinating conversation. The existance of this type of abuse, and the extremes to which it can be carried, may indicate the existance of evil; I don't know. But child abusers themselves are not evil. They're sick, they're twisted, they have chemical imbalances coupled with weak characters and poor impulse control... but they're not evil.

When we call them 'evil' or [to a lesser extent] 'monsters', we're creating a mystery around them and making them seem even scarier than they are. When a child hears a parent talking about abusers that way, the kid is thinking that, no matter what the parent says, there's not a thing mom or dad can do about the evil guy, that you're not big enough or mean enough to deal with monsters. There's a good chance that the child is going to try and protect his/her parents from the evil monsters by not telling the parent what's happening.

The same thing holds true for statements involving 'killing' those who abuse our kids. Personally, I think my head might explode from wanting to, but I've learned not to say it because - as one of my children pointed out to me [ouch] - if I kill that person, then I'll be in jail, and they won't have me as a parent.

The unifying theme to both these points: The reality of child abuse is so overwhelmingly and explosively emotional that neutral and calm language is necessary in order to help ensure that the facts get shared. If the worst happens and a child is abused or assaulted, the child needs to know that the parent/trusted adult is able to safeguard them from more harm, and to handle the information without getting arrested. Otherwise, they may be more willing to tolerate further abuse than to potentially worsen the situation by having their parents in danger or in jail. Sounds horrific, but it's not uncommon.