http://www.wtop.com/?nid=25&sid=1790464 - Naked guy in his own home, viewed by parent and child who were walking on his property - he faces charges.
In order for sex crime legislation to have any credibility, it needs to be interpreted with some credibility.
Clearly, those laws were not written with the purpose of stopping people from being naked in private - and when you're inside a home on your own property, you're in private.
Further, we need to differentiate between nudity (which is not a bad thing) and obscenity or predatory exposure, because they're very different and they need to be treated very differently.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Justice and the Bar
One of the projects CommunityWatch has had for a few years is working with the Washington State Bar Association to correct their process for dealing with criminal charges against members of the Bar. They're a large organization with complicated bylaws, and change takes time.
It's worth it, though, to ensure that we can have some measure of faith in the value and integrity of the Bar, and in the justice that is delivered to us through members of the Bar.
Members of the Bar are human, and cannot be expected to be other than human, with human weaknesses. There is one thing that separates members of the Bar from the rest of us: our justice is delivered through them. Will we go to prison or will the charges be dropped? Are the charges even legitimate? How can you tell? What are your rights - do you know? What does justice look like? Will you recognize it when it's presented to you as an option requiring an immediate decision?
Justice is the voice of the Constitution articulated from a distance of hundreds of years, and colored by thousands of trials and recorded decisions. Just is not the same as fair, it's not always pleasant, and the path to justice is not necessarily straight and simple.
Citizens of the US and of WA cannot hope to naviage the complexities of the justice system without assistance, and for that assistance we must rely on and trust in the intellect, courage, and integrity of members of the Bar, and of the Bar itself.
It's worth it, though, to ensure that we can have some measure of faith in the value and integrity of the Bar, and in the justice that is delivered to us through members of the Bar.
Members of the Bar are human, and cannot be expected to be other than human, with human weaknesses. There is one thing that separates members of the Bar from the rest of us: our justice is delivered through them. Will we go to prison or will the charges be dropped? Are the charges even legitimate? How can you tell? What are your rights - do you know? What does justice look like? Will you recognize it when it's presented to you as an option requiring an immediate decision?
Justice is the voice of the Constitution articulated from a distance of hundreds of years, and colored by thousands of trials and recorded decisions. Just is not the same as fair, it's not always pleasant, and the path to justice is not necessarily straight and simple.
Citizens of the US and of WA cannot hope to naviage the complexities of the justice system without assistance, and for that assistance we must rely on and trust in the intellect, courage, and integrity of members of the Bar, and of the Bar itself.
Think your child is being abused?
It's not enough to know that your child is being abused - you need to take steps to make sure the 'evidence' is credible and gets to the right group of people.
- Keep a notebook of dates, times, and instances that warranted concern. Start at the first occurance of something that seemed wrong or inappropriate, and note down everything from that point forward. If there seems to be a correlation between phone calls, unaccompanied visits, or play dates, make a note of those too.
- Be as factual and non-accusatory as possible. Your job is to advocate for your child, and it is important to convey facts, not emotion and angst.
- If you believe that a crime has been committed against your child, it is your right and your obligation to seek assistance from the police. Do them a favor and provide as much information as possible, which is why your notebook and your factual communication are so important. If you have reports from your child's counselor or pediatrician, take that along as well.
- Make sure your child knows -
- That you love them no matter what, always & forever
- That they won't get in trouble for something an adult or older kid does
- That they have the right to feel safe, to have their private areas left alone, and to ask for help
- Share stories with your child about events that happened to you that made you feel ashamed, scared, vulnerable, and alone, and talk about how you received help.
- If there is a related divorce taking place, acquire the services of a Guardian ad litem, or similar, to be the voice of your child in court.
You can learn more at CommunityWatch.us. Good luck to you and your child/ren.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Free Range Kidlets
When we started the non-profit in 2006, we were told that children were at extreme risk from strangers, and that thousands and thousands of kids go missing every single day in the US. We had law enforcement, safety experts, and children's books expound on these two ideas, and we were pretty sure it was our job to let parents know that, too.
We were wrong, and we figured it out pretty quick, thankfully.
We want our kids to be safe, to grow up safe, and to learn how to keep themself safe so they're prepared for any situation. The skills they need to do that are like a toolbox, and one of the most important tools in that box is CONFIDENCE.
How do you give your kid confidence? It's pretty simple. You 1) teach your kid what they need to know, 2) let them loose in the appropriate environments, and you 3) absolutely support them.
Teaching your kid what they need to know means that you need to know it. Not be oblivious, not be overly scared yourself. It might be different in one neighborhood than in another, different for one kid than another. Some things don't change: Kids need to travel in pairs of 2 or more. Kids need to know what appropriate behavior is and is not. Kids need to know how to ask for help - from a stranger or from a family member.
The appropirate environment is not so easy to determine, but there are some ways to do it. One of our favorites is Gavin de Becker's Test of Twelve. When your kid is very tiny, start teaching toward this test, and maybe your kid will be ready to go around the neighborhood when they're 11. Or 8. It depends on you and your kid and your neighborhood.
This is difficult for another reason - a lot of parents were assaulted as kids. Might be difficult to make a non-emotional decision about it if you know that when you were 9 you were assaulted at the park, and never told your parents because you didn't want to lose your freedom. I hear stories like that every week or so. The only answer I have for that is - Go with your kid around the neighborhood - be free range with your kid. Develop a sense of what's normal for the park at 2:30 pm, or for 8:30 am. Know your neighbors, and know your kid has confidence in his or her neighborhood and ability to travel around the neighborhood.
And that last one - support them. If something happens -anything- then you need to be calm, supportive, and listen to your kid.
Your kid is most at-risk from cars, poorly adjusted car-seats, and no bike-helmet, not from perverted strangers. Make sure the topic is on the table, make sure your kids know you'll be calm and trust them as needed, and make sure they have the appropriate safety gear and security training. Let them loose.
Here's a link to a blog that's all free range, all the time - some perspective: Free-Range Kids.
We were wrong, and we figured it out pretty quick, thankfully.
We want our kids to be safe, to grow up safe, and to learn how to keep themself safe so they're prepared for any situation. The skills they need to do that are like a toolbox, and one of the most important tools in that box is CONFIDENCE.
How do you give your kid confidence? It's pretty simple. You 1) teach your kid what they need to know, 2) let them loose in the appropriate environments, and you 3) absolutely support them.
Teaching your kid what they need to know means that you need to know it. Not be oblivious, not be overly scared yourself. It might be different in one neighborhood than in another, different for one kid than another. Some things don't change: Kids need to travel in pairs of 2 or more. Kids need to know what appropriate behavior is and is not. Kids need to know how to ask for help - from a stranger or from a family member.
The appropirate environment is not so easy to determine, but there are some ways to do it. One of our favorites is Gavin de Becker's Test of Twelve. When your kid is very tiny, start teaching toward this test, and maybe your kid will be ready to go around the neighborhood when they're 11. Or 8. It depends on you and your kid and your neighborhood.
This is difficult for another reason - a lot of parents were assaulted as kids. Might be difficult to make a non-emotional decision about it if you know that when you were 9 you were assaulted at the park, and never told your parents because you didn't want to lose your freedom. I hear stories like that every week or so. The only answer I have for that is - Go with your kid around the neighborhood - be free range with your kid. Develop a sense of what's normal for the park at 2:30 pm, or for 8:30 am. Know your neighbors, and know your kid has confidence in his or her neighborhood and ability to travel around the neighborhood.
And that last one - support them. If something happens -anything- then you need to be calm, supportive, and listen to your kid.
Your kid is most at-risk from cars, poorly adjusted car-seats, and no bike-helmet, not from perverted strangers. Make sure the topic is on the table, make sure your kids know you'll be calm and trust them as needed, and make sure they have the appropriate safety gear and security training. Let them loose.
Here's a link to a blog that's all free range, all the time - some perspective: Free-Range Kids.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Barring RSOs from attending Church
Banning RSOs from attending Church in North Carolina
What is the expected, constructive result of legislation banning RSOs from attending church? Even from banning RSOs from being within 300 feet of any location that has the primary purpose of dealing with minors - What is the expected goal?
The fact is that the US is tagging a lot of people as RSOs, and they do have to live somewhere. You cannot reasonably expect them to live outside a 300-1000 foot range of every church, preschool, day care, public school, bus stop, or private school in any given city, town, or unincorporated area. What that would bring you would be a lot of unstable, homeless, RSOs living under bridges or in their car, parked in the lot near the local playground.
Many areas have Community Protection Zones that intelligently prohibit level 3 offenders (the most predatory, with a very high risk of re-offense) from living within a certain distance of, for instance, public schools.
This idea of "Not in my back yard" is not a good idea. You're not doing your community a favor by trying to force RSOs to live 'elsewhere.' There is no 'elsewhere' - someone is going to have to deal with the issue, and by passing these laws, people are essentially foisting the issue onto someone else, likely someone who doesn't have the means to monitor the safety of their kids/community as effectively.
Please remember- the vast majority of sexual assaults are not committed by RSOs - they're committed by uncaught, unidentified offenders who have established positions in your community. Teach your kids to be safe and they'll be safe just about anywhere, whether RSOs are allowed in the same church or not.
What is the expected, constructive result of legislation banning RSOs from attending church? Even from banning RSOs from being within 300 feet of any location that has the primary purpose of dealing with minors - What is the expected goal?
The fact is that the US is tagging a lot of people as RSOs, and they do have to live somewhere. You cannot reasonably expect them to live outside a 300-1000 foot range of every church, preschool, day care, public school, bus stop, or private school in any given city, town, or unincorporated area. What that would bring you would be a lot of unstable, homeless, RSOs living under bridges or in their car, parked in the lot near the local playground.
Many areas have Community Protection Zones that intelligently prohibit level 3 offenders (the most predatory, with a very high risk of re-offense) from living within a certain distance of, for instance, public schools.
This idea of "Not in my back yard" is not a good idea. You're not doing your community a favor by trying to force RSOs to live 'elsewhere.' There is no 'elsewhere' - someone is going to have to deal with the issue, and by passing these laws, people are essentially foisting the issue onto someone else, likely someone who doesn't have the means to monitor the safety of their kids/community as effectively.
Please remember- the vast majority of sexual assaults are not committed by RSOs - they're committed by uncaught, unidentified offenders who have established positions in your community. Teach your kids to be safe and they'll be safe just about anywhere, whether RSOs are allowed in the same church or not.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
TN - accusation of selling a kid was bogus - so what happened?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp=33196533�
Infant was snatched from the home (extraordinarily rare, btw). Un-named informant accuses parents of trying to sell the infant, and essentially staging an abduction. On the basis of that accusation, all of the children are removed from their home for a week. A week.
Were these children kept together? Did they have access to a qualified counselor? Did they get to visit with their parents? Was there a directive that determining the truth of that accusation be prioritized so those children could be returned to their family? Should they even have been taken? If you don't have enough to arrest the parent, do you have enough to remove the child?
I don't know the answers to these questions. I do know that someone in TN is obligated to have the answers to these questions, and should provide those answers without being asked.
When the government imposes itself into the relationship between a parent and child, it obligates itself to the fulleset possible extent. It obligates itself to the welfare of the child, to the demands of justice, and to absolute transparency.
Infant was snatched from the home (extraordinarily rare, btw). Un-named informant accuses parents of trying to sell the infant, and essentially staging an abduction. On the basis of that accusation, all of the children are removed from their home for a week. A week.
Were these children kept together? Did they have access to a qualified counselor? Did they get to visit with their parents? Was there a directive that determining the truth of that accusation be prioritized so those children could be returned to their family? Should they even have been taken? If you don't have enough to arrest the parent, do you have enough to remove the child?
I don't know the answers to these questions. I do know that someone in TN is obligated to have the answers to these questions, and should provide those answers without being asked.
When the government imposes itself into the relationship between a parent and child, it obligates itself to the fulleset possible extent. It obligates itself to the welfare of the child, to the demands of justice, and to absolute transparency.
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