Free Range Kidlets

When we started the non-profit in 2006, we were told that children were at extreme risk from strangers, and that thousands and thousands of kids go missing every single day in the US. We had law enforcement, safety experts, and children's books expound on these two ideas, and we were pretty sure it was our job to let parents know that, too.

We were wrong, and we figured it out pretty quick, thankfully.

We want our kids to be safe, to grow up safe, and to learn how to keep themself safe so they're prepared for any situation. The skills they need to do that are like a toolbox, and one of the most important tools in that box is CONFIDENCE.

How do you give your kid confidence? It's pretty simple. You 1) teach your kid what they need to know, 2) let them loose in the appropriate environments, and you 3) absolutely support them.
Teaching your kid what they need to know means that you need to know it. Not be oblivious, not be overly scared yourself. It might be different in one neighborhood than in another, different for one kid than another. Some things don't change: Kids need to travel in pairs of 2 or more. Kids need to know what appropriate behavior is and is not. Kids need to know how to ask for help - from a stranger or from a family member.

The appropirate environment is not so easy to determine, but there are some ways to do it. One of our favorites is Gavin de Becker's Test of Twelve. When your kid is very tiny, start teaching toward this test, and maybe your kid will be ready to go around the neighborhood when they're 11. Or 8. It depends on you and your kid and your neighborhood.

This is difficult for another reason - a lot of parents were assaulted as kids. Might be difficult to make a non-emotional decision about it if you know that when you were 9 you were assaulted at the park, and never told your parents because you didn't want to lose your freedom. I hear stories like that every week or so. The only answer I have for that is - Go with your kid around the neighborhood - be free range with your kid. Develop a sense of what's normal for the park at 2:30 pm, or for 8:30 am. Know your neighbors, and know your kid has confidence in his or her neighborhood and ability to travel around the neighborhood.

And that last one - support them. If something happens -anything- then you need to be calm, supportive, and listen to your kid.

Your kid is most at-risk from cars, poorly adjusted car-seats, and no bike-helmet, not from perverted strangers. Make sure the topic is on the table, make sure your kids know you'll be calm and trust them as needed, and make sure they have the appropriate safety gear and security training. Let them loose.

Here's a link to a blog that's all free range, all the time - some perspective: Free-Range Kids.